something true

Trigger warning Richard Siken in an interview said, “there has to be a place where we can say something true.” i hold back from saying you need to read my blog posts. please read them. because that is the only place i can really tell you what is going on. what i mean is this: […]

uh…

tw : suicide and self harm mention I always write in the thick of things. whatever emotions i am feeling at the moment. i think it has something to do with the somewhat philosophical question C.S.Lewis poses in one of his books (i do not remember which one exactly). it is not a question really […]

Messy confessions

I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything.I want to tell you this story without having to be in it. – Richard Siken, the torn-up road this must be the third draft of this post. maybe three is a charm after all. it is august. my birthday month. i have a […]

where are you going to go?

is it true that it is impossible to lie to oneself?switchfoot in their song dare you to move sing,“Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?”i don’t know. where does one run to anyway. when all is said and done, in the dead of the night, it […]

so what if the world is ending

for the longest time ever, i have thought of the world ending. i suppose the world started ending for me since my childhood. now, more than a decade later, i see that the world is actually ending in a way and it is not pretty. it is terrifying.i was not aware how much i believed […]

Love and Weights

Ari says that love has always been something heavy for him to carry. i could not agree more. i feel the same. like love can be a heavy thing for me to bear. as a poet once said, love and grief are both nonnegotiable. if they arrive, you have to acknowledge them unless you are […]

A 1000 ways dead

If grief is all the love one has but cannot give, then i have been grieving for a long time. interesting how people think that for grief to occur there has to have taken place a physical death. but no. death is all around in various forms. the way we forget, misplace and lose people, […]

to be jaded…

new month. but not just any month because May is mental health awareness month. i remember writing one of the most vulnerable blog posts ever around a time like this last year. it is ironic that this month, more often than not, finds my mental health in shambles. to be honest i am jaded about […]

TTWBATS Part Two

TTWBATS Part Twoin retrospect, i was incredibly naive to think that was how to deal with what was going on inside but hey, at least i tried. i burned the journals in 2019 because that was the year i was sure i had actually lost my mind. that was the year i thought i had […]

The Things We’ve Been Afraid To Say (Part One)

The things we’ve been afraid to say. #TTWBATSi do not have a substantial clue where to start this post. i was talking with a friend of mine about the saddest book i have ever read which happens to be All the bright places by Niven. so i asked which character he thought i was between […]